Awww, Florida, you beautiful dumpster fire of a state. Where armpit humidity meets waterslide injuries, sandy beverages, and inappropriately placed alligators. We designed this excellent piece of fashion for two types of people: Those who have experienced the insanity of Florida and need a way to symbolize their sweat-soaked trauma, and those who haven't yet, but need a fair warning that entering this state might make them 😠 (Furious).
Why furious? Well, there's a mighty fine line between love and hate. One minute you're sharing a chicken basket with a retired astronaut at some dangerously hot chili cook-off, and the next you're arguing about bath salts with a nudist in a hurricane. That's Florida—where your sanity comes to tan. In spite all that... or maybe because of it... Florida owns your heart like a swamp owns a gator.
This shirt (or hoodie, or long sleeve, or sweater — whichever you plan on getting salsa stains on) lets you wear your Florida feelings sans subtlety. It's made of 100% cozy, soft-as-a-sloth's-belly, breathable cotton that promises to keep you comfy while you do the Florida bend-and-snap: Bend over to pick up your fallen margarita and snap at the mosquito that's trying to make a dinner reservation on your butt cheek.
And hey, it's designed and printed with highly durable inks in the good old USA. We can guarantee that these colors won't run. They'll stand their ground. Which we hear is sort of a thing down there. Happy wearing, you brave beautiful disaster!
