Welcome to Maryland, the state responsible for tragically stuck-up crab enthusiasts and the worst traffic known to mankind. We're almost certain the founding fathers intended for it to be a barely functioning prototype, but somehow this tiny, weirdly-shaped state became a full-fledged member of the union. An armpit, sandwiched between the greatness of DC and Philadelphia. Congrats, you're in Maryland and that gets a big, fat 😰 from us.
Ironically, this shirt with a freaked out emoji plastered on it is the style king on the block. It's cool, it's sassy, and it's fun at parties. Can't guarantee it will help you catch crabs but your friends are going to like it. And hey, it's a conversation starter. Wear it, flaunt it, let it soak up your tears in Bay Bridge traffic.
Our clothing is nothing but primo material. With an unbeatable texture as smooth as the Chesapeake Bay on a calm day and breathable to boot, it's perfect for those nasty humid summers or crisp, cool nights by the bonfire. Made of 100% cotton, this beauty fits like a well-worn glove and will withstand everyone touching it because they're jealous. Every detail is printed with vivid, enduring inks that won't fade even after your 100th trip to Old Bay territory.
So go ahead. Purchase this nod to Maryland and let the world know you've survived the republic's mysterious stepchild. We'll keep pocketing your cash -- and laughing at your misery -- but hey, at least you'll look cool doing it.
