Here's to the feelings you never knew you had for Rhode Island! How can we describe this gedunk of a state with faint praise without sounding like a douche canoe? It's small. No, seriously! It's so tiny you can zip from one end to the other in less than an hour, and yet, here you are bragging about it. Why? We don't know. It's like you're proud of your out-of-shape middle schooler dunking on a five-foot hoop. But, hey, you do you. 😊
Now we have just the canvas for your geographical vanity, steeped in that deeply uncool irreverence that'll get you thrown out of your high school reunion. Each clothing item are made from 100% soft, breathable cotton so you can chest thump in comfort. Plus, the state map and 😊 emoji are so colorfully printed, even the stoned-out-of-their-mind buddies in your garage band will be able to see it clearly. Whether you're buying a T-shirt, long sleeve, hoodie, or sweater, this is the fabric equivalent of a Rhode Island license plate, but without all the shady parking tickets.
Oh, and if anyone asks why Rhode Island, shrug and say it's is an island...with roads. They'll never know you're messing with them, which is sort of the point of this awesome little piece of sarcastic apparel. Wear it. Love it. Be obnoxiously Rhode Island proud. We won't judge – we're too busy counting the cash.
